its not stalking. its research.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
