I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
