You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
