the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
