low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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