Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
