it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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