In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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