that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think i peed on brittanys purse
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
