I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
