What did we do last night that was yellow?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
why do cheetos always look like penises
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
