the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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