my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
