Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
