"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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