We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
