god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
