Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
