remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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