I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
