yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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