Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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