It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
