The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
