but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
