the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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