3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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