They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
