Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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