those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
