All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You are a genius and a whore.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
