Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
