spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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