yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
