Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it was like eating out sand paper
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
