He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
