Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
