I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
