States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
