Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
