Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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