well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
