This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
