ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Operation Purity has been aborted
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
