I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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