are you so shy because you have an std?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just want nice things and good sex
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
