i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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