My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
