"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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