that's an acceptable place to lick
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
