hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
