So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
