people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
